Akatsuki Confessions
by gaara'sgirl666
Summary: This is Gaara’sgirl666 here with an exclusive interview with the Akatsuki members. This isn’t any ordinary interview, here and only here we will hear Akatsuki’s most inner thought and confessions...please read! Summary sucks but my Beta thought it funny!


_OK...so me plus caffene and sugar plus misnight equals crack...yay!! This is just a fun thing...I'm not trying to insult anyone, or upset them about their fav characters being poked fun at. I love the Akatuski...they rock...but this is something funny to read. I hope you enjoy._

Alright! This is Gaara'sgirl666 here with an exclusive interview with the Akatsuki members. This isn't any ordinary interview, here and only here we will hear Akatsuki's most inner thought and confessions. Not only will we get to speak with them, we have been invited into their lair as well…and here they are, the Akatsuki! *Whole group files in and takes seats* Okay now everyone please remember this is a PG and under interview, so no cussing Hidan. *gets flicked off*

Gaara'sgirl666 – *sigh* First off we have Tobi. Tobi-san, what do would you like to tell us today?  
Tobi – Tobi isn't a good boy…*looks around slyly*…*whispers* I know how many of these guys are actually gay.  
Gaara'sgirl666 - *Stutters* Would you care to elaborate on which ones? *inner yaoi fan girl perks up with interest but Zetsu covers Tobi's mouth before he can speak and glares*

Gaara'sgirl666 – O.O…okay…Zetsu, what confession do you have?  
Zetsu (Both sides) – If I were really cannibalistic Tobi would be dead now. *hint hint*  
Tobi – Zetsu-chan! You promised you wouldn't say anything! *Zetsu pulls Tobi into lap, Tobi blushes*  
Zetsu, white side – He's really not a good boy. *devilish grin*  
Zetsu, black side – Time for a little snack. Hehe  
Gaara'sgirl666 – That was disturbing on so many levels. *grins sheepishly as Tobi and Zetsu glare* (at least I think Tobi was glaring. Can't tell. Still wearing the mask. Hmm.*

Gaara'sgirl666 – Deidara-chan, what would you like to share with us?  
Deidara – *in a sort of whiny voice* Everyone teases me because I look like a girl. Between the cosplayers and the yaoi fans and and…even the other Akatsuki members!!! *group snicker* DON"T DENY IT I KNOW YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK!!!!  
Hidan – It's ok baby. We forgive you for being gender confused.  
Deidara – SCREW YOU HIDAN!! I AM NOT GENDER CONFUSED!! *takes deep calming breath* Anyway, I am actually a boy, but just because I'm a boy doesn't mean I can't look pretty right? *no one answers* RIGHT?!?! *still no one answers, Deidara breaks down into sobs* * Gaara'sgirl666 fidgets in seat*  
Gaara'sgirl666 – Can someone please console him?  
Sai – I WILL! ^_^  
Gaara'sgirl666 – Hey what's he doing here? SECURITY!! *Sai gets dragged away*  
Itachi – Hn.

Gaara'sgirl666 – Ok, this can't get much stranger. Sasori of the Red Sands, what would you like to say?  
Sasori – Everyone keeps going on and on about my being a puppet and the fact that I hid inside one for so many years…but how can you blame me? Do you remember who my partner used to be? That's right, Orochimaru. Can you imagine? He wasn't just after Itachi's body. Oh no. He wanted mine too. And then Leader-sama would send us out on missions. Alone. Do you know the disgusting vile things that HE wanted me to do!?!? *shudders* I became a puppet to save myself! No one wants splinters THERE. But that guy!! OMG!! He was relentless even after I changed into a puppet. I started hiding inside Hiruko to save myself. *Turns from group while hugging self* I'm still going through therapy because of it all…  
Gaara'sgirl666 – O.o…*mumbles* Thank god Oro-sanin declined this invitation.  
Sasori – NANI?  
Gaara'sgirl666 – Nothing nothing! *sweat drop* Next!

Gaara'sgirl666 – Ah, Hidan, what would you like to share with us today?  
Hidan – Everyone thinks I'm some kind of homicidal killer and all I think about is death and killing and death.  
All Akatsuki – YOU DO!!! *Hidan rolls eyes*  
Hidan – I have other dreams too!! Other hobbies!!! Other things I like doing!!  
Deidara - *sniffs back tears* Like what, un?  
Hidan - *goes starry eyed* Flower arrangements.  
All Akatsuki- NANI!?!?!?! *Deidara faints*  
Hidan – HA! See?!? I knew he was a girl! *gets smacked by Sasori and Kakuzu, Tobi tries to revive Deidara*  
Gaara'sgirl666 – Umm…medic?

Gaara'sgirl666 – So while we try to wake up Dei-chan, let's move on. Kakuzu, it's you turn, what do you confess?  
Kakuzu – I have nothing to confess.  
Hidan – You lying b*****d!  
Gaara'sgirl666 – Hidan language please?  
Kakuzu – Fine! It's not that I'm obsessed with money…  
Hidan – LIAR!! *Kakuzu pulls sword out of nowhere and chops off Hidan's head before stuffing it into a bag to muffle cursing*  
Kakuzu – Anyway, it's not the money that I'm obsessed with, it's what I can by with the money.  
Gaara'sgirl666 – Such as? *Kakuzu pulls out chibi doll while going chibi with large anime eyes*  
Kakuzu – ALL THE DOLLS I WANT!!!  
Sasori – *Turns slightly green*OMG! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little!! I can't do that I'm a puppet!! Oh the humanity!!! *starts rocking back and forth*  
Gaara'sgirl666 – *Sweat drop* *To self* I'm the one who's going to need therapy after this.  
Pein – Kakuzu you better clean up that mess before we leave. I need my members intact to take over the world.  
Gaara'sgirl666 – A lot of therapy.

Gaara'sgirl666 – Anywho, Kisame, please tell me your confession is a little bit sane?  
Kisame - Fish ARE friends, not food. Weasels on the other hand…*licks lips*…they make an enticing little snack. *snickers*  
Gaara'sgirl666 – I said sane. And as much as I love KisameItachi yaoi I think you are the cannibal, not Zetsu. *looks over to Zetsu and Tobi who are again cuddling* No offense to you Zetsu. *Nervous laughter*

Gaara'sgirl666 – So Itachi, anything to say about Kisame's confession and what is your own?  
Itachi – *rolls eyes*Kisame can yap all he wants, but he'll never stick his teeth into me. *Deidara finally comes too and is helped onto his feet* On the other hand, I agree with Deidara. Just because we are boys doesn't mean we can't look pretty.  
Deidara – Really Itachi-kun? You mean it? *Itachi nods*  
Itachi – Besides, I can just imagine what you could with those hands of yours. *Deidara glomps Itachi to the floor and both start rolling around and…  
*Yaoi overload*

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

--- We seem to be experimenting some technical difficulties please stand by. ---

*Deidara and Itachi have been separated for the time being, both being restrained by their partners. Hidan bit Kakuzu, Zetsu and Tobi were somewhat behaving though completely oblivious, Pein and Konan look bored, Gaara'sgirl666 put her inner fan girl in a straight jacket and threw into a padded room where girl is happily rolling around humming internet is for porn.*

Gaara'sgirl666 – Ok…that is the most awkward situation I have ever been put into….So ummm…Konan what would you like to share?  
Konan – Well, everyone knows I love my origami but there's more than me to that. I love to cook, and I cook all the meals for the Akatsuki members, they simply adore my cooking. Right guys?  
*All members turn bright red and start stuttering.*  
Mixed answers – Right Konan. Love your cooking. Great food. Hehe.  
Kakuzu – It's expensive to supply the food to this group. Between all the meals, there's barely any left for my dolls. Right Sailor Moon? *cuddles doll to self*  
Konan -What do you mean all the meals? We only have three a day.  
Deidara – *nervous laughter* It's nothing Konan-chan. You know how Kakuzu is with his money. *more nervous laughter* *Kisame toes Chinese takeout box farther under couch.*

Gaara'sgirl666 – Umm…alrighty then. Pein, as leader of a group such as Akatsuki, and such a dangerous and powerful man, what is your confession?  
Pein – Konan holds my leash.  
Gaara'sgirl666 – What do you mean? *Konan slides closer to Pein and reaches inside his cloak before pulling out a long leather strap that was connected to collar around Pein's neck.*  
Pein – She's an absolutely superb mistress.  
Gaara'sgirl666 - *sweat drop* *to self* OMG…He's purring. -_-  
Konan – Umm….and you are such a good boy aren't you Pein.  
Pein – Yes Konan-sama. I'll always be good for you.  
Gaara'sgirl666 - *scoots away* God I wish I was old enough to drink.  
*Deidara and Itachi finally break free of their captors and start necking on the couch, Tobi and Zetsu have disappeared* Oh God…*Kakuzu is arguing with Hidan's head threatening to put it on backwards. Sasori went back to hiding inside Hiruko. Kisame is talking to a fishbowl…O.o…and Pein and Konan are…*shutter* not going there.

Gaara'sgirl 666 – Alright so this was Akatsuki confessions. I'm going to get out of her before I get sucked into this madness as well. *inner scream* As much as to my inner yaoi fangirl's distress...BYE! ^_^  
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_ Ok...that's the end. Hope you guys enjoyed...please review and remmeber this was just for fun....^_^ Later!_


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